Work to Live or Live to Work?

I want to be a...

When we're looking at the world from the backseat window of our parent's car, the world is our proverbial oyster, "What do we want to be when we grow up?" We try our futures on like costumes. I want to be a ballerina, no. A scientist. No. A Rock N' Roll Star!

No one says, I want to grow up and hate my job. Yet, as adults, many of us do just that. We work to live, not the other way around.

Then there's those select few who, even if it wasn't what they thought they'd do, love their work. I've had a job like this. It came out of left field, a job I thought would bore me to tears, but ended up being my favorite job of all time. Why? Because it mentally challenged me and because the people I worked with were pleasant and fun to be around. But was working in a college financial aid office what I was meant to do?

If I'm going to keep my head in the clouds, at least there's a restaurant up here.

My personal goal has always been to have a job I enjoy- didn't care what it was, if I enjoyed the hours at work, I was thrilled. Most of the time, this meant a more enjoyable job over a higher paying one. Nowadays, this philosophy doesn't always help. My resume is a potpourri ranging from social worker to custom art framer to waitress. There's no clear-cut path there. My experience is all zig-zagged- less like an arrow and more like the haphazard way a wasp makes its way through your house- everyone's ducking and god only knows where it'll land. For some reason, employers don't always want to pay top-dollar for that level of expertise. Hm? But now that I have a family, I can't always have my cake in the shade. My choices don't just affect my weekend but the lives of 3 tiny people.

Last year, I decided to be a writer. Through the past 11 months, I have learned a lot about myself and have finally realized what I'm meant to do. It was there the whole time, and until I was 33, I didn't see it. However, my days of clocking-in may not be behind me, after all it takes a long time to build a career for any self-employed profession and there are mouths to feed and bills to pay along the way. BUT I truly believe writing is what I meant to do.

How do we know?

Me and sis and our sweet punch embroidery shirts circa 1985ish

When I was a kid, I played the flute. I wanted to play the violin, but not only are violins crazy expensive, but the flute was before the violin in the sample-an-instrument line the summer before I entered the 5th grade. When there's a million kids and you're hungry, sacrifices must be made. (I'm certain my mother has a different memory of this than I do.) In any case, I was pretty decent at playing that stick. I could toot up a storm and I participated in band every year until I was a sophomore in high school. But, did I practice willingly? No. Did I get mad and frustrated and wish I was the Hulk so I could knot that baby up? Yes. Did I ever want to go pro? Bwahahaha! (No.) Was I meant to be a musician? I afraid not.

It's all good. I tried lots of things out, that's the fun of life. Think you'll like photography? Try it out, take a class, live it for a while. Maybe you'll catch that elusive flame inside that burns for one thing and never dies. Or maybe you'll want to shove your camera down the trash compactor because it never catches what you see in your mind's eye. (A sure-fire sign you should keep searching for your true calling.) But don't despair, if you keep trying, you'll find what you're meant to do. And in the meantime, you can have fun sampling. Life is to be lived.

"warning face punch"

TRY ON ALL THE HATS!

The thing that we're meant to do helps us cope with life, it compliments us, and we do it whether or not we get paid to.  We make sacrifices to ensure we have the resources to do it. We make it a priority over and over. And no matter what happens in life, we always come back to that one thing. And it's not always the thing that we want it to be. We have to be honest with ourselves, which is sometimes the hardest part. Because if we try to force ourselves to be something we're not, we'll never be truly happy.

In short, we live to do it and we do it to live.

Writing is not work for me. It is my job. And sometimes it comes easier than others. But no matter what, I look forward to my writing time. I do not look at my day and try to stack everything up in front of my writing so I can't get to it. I don't bang on my computer and wish my writing time was over already. I cherish every moment I have and if someday I'm able to make a living at it, I will thank my lucky stars and God for helping me find my true love.

What do you think? Have you found your calling? Is it worth it to do what you love over making more money? Either way, I'd love to hear from you!

Up, up and awaaaaay!

Claire Legrand's Newest Masterpiece, The Year of Shadows!

The YEAR OF SHADOWS

The Year of Shadows by Claire LeGrand

Middle Grade Fantasy

Hardcover, 416 Pages

This book was a first for me- it was my first ARC, which stands for Advanced Reading Copy. This means that I got to read Claire’s book before its release to the public! Exciting!!

Let me tell you, I was a little unsure how this book would hit me- I mean, Claire’s first book, The Cavendish Home for Boys and Girls, instantly became one of my favorites and I was curious how this one would stack up against it.

I already knew that Claire had a knack for the weird and creepy- her book and her short stories that she writes for the Cabinet of Curiosities are evidence of that. But this one showcases another of her skills- the ability to tug at heart-strings. Actually, let me be honest, this one didn’t tug at them, it YANKED them and made me cry…more than once. Now, I don’t usually like crying, but I have to admit, she made me realize that some stories are worth crying for. It's not sad though- it has it all, humor, suspense, the works!

Olivia Stellatella is one unhappy little gothling. Her mom left, her dad, the Maestro, puts her and her grandmother on the back burner while he spends every shred of money and energy he has on saving a failing orchestra. If it weren’t for her drawings or the cat that adopts her, she’d have nothing. Until something unusual happens- the ghosts appear.

The music hall, where they live backstage, is haunted. When they show themselves in a strange and terrifying display, Olivia’s life becomes interesting and she has something other than anger to focus on. But when she and a boy named Henry agree to help the ghosts “move on”, things get complicated. After all, when your friends are dead, life is anything but ordinary.

I won't spoil it for you, but rest assured, through a process of accepting her fate, learning to say goodbye, and struggling to forgive, Olivia’s life becomes something worth living.

Genuine. Endearing. Beautiful. Those are the words I would use to describe this story.

Available for sale in hardback and as an eBook on August 27, 2013 from Simon and Schuster.

TAGS: Claire Legrand, Ghosts, Haunted Places, Orchestra, Father/Daughter Relationships, Family

While you are waiting for this book from Claire LeGrand, read her debut novel, The Cavendish Home for Boys and Girls! I need to give it a separate review, and I will. Until then, take my word for it- it's AWESOME!!

Happy Reading!

~AB

Say What? How to Make Your Writing Clearer

Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As a parent, of small children, I'm constantly trying to make myself heard and understood. Also, like most parents, I'm constantly repeating the words, "no," "don't," "stop," and-- "I already said no!"

Then one day I heard this piece of advice. Children hear you better if you speak in the positive. Huh? What kind of loony new age thing is this?

Basically, it's a way to phrase yourself. Instead of saying, "don't run with a sharp ax", you say, "walk." Instead of saying "don't touch my house of cards," say, "keep your hands down."

Image courtesy of Boaz Yiftach at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So I tried it. And it worked! (when they follow directions, that is) My goal became clear, I have a quarter second of their attention and who knows what I'll be saying when that 1/4 second comes around, so every word has to convey the right idea. If I say "no running" and all they hear is "running," guess who is going to keep running? That's right. But if I say "walk", then we have no issue.

We should always strive to make ourselves easily understood as parents, writers, people. Writers, like parents, also have precious few moments to urge our audience to move forward in the story and wasted words are a great way to wear them out before we get to the punchline.

Image courtesy of Maggie Smith at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There are a few subtle ways to clean up your writing to convey the story so the writing is clean, comprehensible, and easily digested. After all, we want our audience to get lost in our words, not wonder why there's so many unnecessary ones.

First, use the positive form. When you're writing, make your statements assertive. Using the negative form of writing sounds weaker, less committed.

Example: He was not usually the good looking one.  Change it to: He was usually the ugly one. See how it changes the tone?

Second, use an active voice. Like the positive form, this is clearer and has more of an impact. You want your writing to turn heads, not fuel naps.

Example (and one from my own personal manuscript- oops):
Her clothes were hung according to weather and hue. The clothes are the doing the action here- lame and darn near impossible. Change it to: She hung her clothes according to weather and hue.

Third, get rid of the really, really, just there because you'd use it in real life words. Just because you say it when you're on the phone with your sister doesn't mean it should be written that way.

Example: The guy with the really cool bike was so rich. Unless you're like, writing the screen play for Clueless II, let's not. Change to: The guy with the custom Harley was a billionaire.

Fourth, KILL the adverbs. This is like a game. Find an adverb, wield your 'delete' button or red pen like a sword, and KILL IT! But, you need the adverb? Then your verb isn't strong enough on its own. Find a better one.

Example: She snottily stuck out her tongue as he walked away. You don't have to tell us she's snotty. The action tells us that. Simply omit the adverb. Or, if there was an unusual way she did it, with hatred or malice, show it in the verb, such as: She stabbed out her tongue as he walked away. Ouch.

This is a short list of things that can make your writing transition from convoluted to clear. In every story, there are things to consider when you make edits. Style, dramatic effect, character traits, and using vocabulary and writing style are just a couple of your tools for manipulating these elements.

One thing to consider, and the exception to nearly every rule, is dialog. When characters are speaking, these rules are often broken, for good cause. If it is part of our character's personality, then perhaps the rules must be broken to allow the reader to understand their nuances. And that's okay.

Ultimately, we have the power and right to scribe whatever words we want onto the paper. No lightening will strike, your English teacher will not rap on your door and give your manuscript an F. But, for those of us that enjoy reaching our readers, these elements help them see past the words to the story that inspired them.

For more tips, please read the small, digestible, and infinitely helpful tool, The Elements of Style, by William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White.

Time Off- Trusty Sidekick or Archnemesis?

Image courtesy of thawats at FreeDigitalPhotos.net (edited in Microsoft Paint by me)

4:30 AM. Rise and shine, because the toddler is awake, you've been dreaming about planting your garden, and the coffee your husband is brewing before he goes to work smells delicious. Fast forward 5 hours- you're making yourself yet another cup of wake-up juice, just dropped off the kiddos at school and drove home through puffy, gentle snow (on the 5th day of spring!!) to the sweet sound of the early bird's purring snores from the car seat.

Sounds like a great day to...I don't know...take a nap! Right?

I'm sure no one would blame me if I did. But, here I am, writing a blog post instead. I also have the editing of  my first novel to accomplish (1/3 of the way there!) and a lot of preparing for upcoming conferences, books to review, books to read, my career to plan... A day off? NEVER!

But with all this hanging over my head, I can't help but wonder, is time off something we must embrace- that Trusty Sidekick so to speak, who shows up just when we need him, makes us feel super when we doubt, and perfectly compliments our hero costume? Or, is the need to take time our Arch Nemesis, always spying and waiting to stamp out our productivity with one dastardly plan after the next?

When we announced to the world we were professionals, not just "aspiring writers" (don't get me started!), we started something. Something that made us feel bad when we're not writing. We have to earn that title, after all. And truly, there are times when I'd rather be playing video games, watching movies with the family, knitting, reading, doing laundry (not!) but I have to shut myself into my office/laundry room, and get to work.

This is good. It helps me realize how much this career means to me. I helps me understand where my priorities lie, and it helps the other people in my life see these sacrifices too. When I'm taking it seriously, it encourages others to do the same, thus increasing my chances of success. In the end, being a Writer is still an occupation and in order to do it well, you can't just write when you have nothing else better to do.

That being said...

Writers, like everyone else in this world, need a break too. Undue pressure is a sure fire way to quench any creative flames that burn inside us. We have lives to run, children to love, parties to attend, houses to clean, and eventually, we have to pay bills (it keeps the laptop running.)

Not only do we need to manage our lives, but down time is a necessity to let our ideas breathe, work out plot and character issues, come up with new ideas, and keep our work fun and fresh. I consulted two of  my favorite authors including Leigh Bardugo author of Shadow and Bone, book one of the Grisha Trilogy and A.G. Henley , author of The Scourge, which is also the first in a trilogy (second book to release 2013.) Leigh, who is in high gear promoting her second book, Seige and Storm- June 4, 2013, agreed saying, "Personally, time off is a necessity for me..." and A.G., who is also runs her own business and a family, had this to say, "Taking time away from writing is not only good, it's essential."

Work times ebb and flow as do the words. My daily goal is 1000 words at a minimum. Some days, I'm 140 words in thinking I'll never make that goal, then other's I'm 2000 in and only stop because the baby wakes up. We have to take advantage of the urges when they strike and sometimes, be it personal dedication or deadlines, we work when we're not "feeling it."

Occasionally, there comes a day, scheduled or not, when you just have to let it go, turn the computer off, and live your life. If you love it, you'll be back. In the wise words of my friend and fellow author, Allison Marie Silver, we sometimes have to give ourselves permission to take a break.

Ahhhh.....back to work.

Image courtesy of anat_tikker at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thank you!

I'd like to thank my friends, Leigh Bardugo, A. G. Henley, and Allison Silver, for their support.
Find Leigh Bardugo at her Website, Good Reads and Facebook. As a special treat, read the first two chapters online here!
Find A. G. Henley on Amazon, her website/blog and Facebook
Find Allison Marie Silver on Facebook and her blog, Snarky Sentiments of a Paranormal Writer

Thick Skin: Not Just for Pudding Anymore

One of my favorite motivational and real-world check artists, Kristin Lamb, just posted a great article titled "Enemies of the Art Part 10- Having a Thin Skin" as a reminder that we all must learn to accept feedback and criticism, and not just from the people that say what we want to hear.

Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This pearl of wisdom for is everyone, not just Writers. As a matter of fact, the moments when someone has offered us crudely dealt harsh words is invaluable, even when we prefer to disregard them.

We all love to be told how great we are, how our work is impressive, how wonderful we are at our trade, but when we are told everything is perfect, how do we learn where we need to improve? Where do we get the motivation to do better? When you're at the top of the mountain, how do you climb higher? The thing is, we aren't perfect, we do need to do better, and there's always room to aspire for a higher level. And that's what those awkward, maddening, hurtful moments are good for, if nothing else. To give us ammunition, motivation, and something to ponder when we're done pontificating about how wonderful we are.

True enough, we tell ourselves that these "Bubble Bursters" are filled with jealousy, misinformation, or lack of understanding, and sometimes they are. But sometimes they're on to something and I'd wager it's worth your effort to consider it every time. Even if it exploded in your face like some kind of gift wrapped bomb from Wile E. Coyote, there's something you can learn from it.

Source: www.cartoonnetwork.com

Personally, I can pin point several points in my life where those words ("You're being small minded," "This is just unreadable," "There's no hook. No action."), equivalent to gut punches, have made me thankful. Thankful that they got the wheels turning, got me thinking from a new angle. And after cursing under my breath, crying, and getting through the embarrassment, I have found, more than the nice ones, those words that stung caused more evolution, more development in my skills and mindset than I ever could have thought (however bitterly I had to admit it.)

Before you quit the reading group, the critique circle, the friendship, think about what you're told. Decide if it's pride, discomfort, denial, or our unavoidable subjectivity with which we see the world that makes us want to run to the nearest chocolate cake and dig with our hands.

It takes practice, but when you open your mind and step away from your ego, personal growth is sure to happen.

Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Please read "We Are Not Alone: The Writer's Guide to Social Media" by Kristin Lamb and "Are You There Blog? It's Me Writer", a fantastic combination to be inspired and to get your Author Marketing Platform off the ground ASAP!

NEWS AT 11: Budding Writer Feels Like Insecure Teenager Again

I DID IT, you all! I've found the Fountain of Youth. I didn't need an antique map or magical compass, though I did have to charge through uncharted territory to get there. And now, instead of being the 33 year old adult that I was- happy to wear two different socks, satisfied without makeup in public, and totally at ease with my faults, I have become an insecure teenager again. HIGH FIVE! (Or is that, like, totally lame?"

Unfortunately, I still have the body of someone with three kids and all the financial responsibility that I had before, but now I get to wonder if I'm good enough, if anyone will ever want me, and compare myself to others that are cooler, more successful, and better than I am...at writing. YIPPEE!

Hey you! No shoving! There's plenty Agua de Vida to go around...

No matter what age you begin writing (God bless those souls that start while they are insecure teenagers already- of course, getting it over with in one punch seems like an alright idea now that I think about it) everyone will go through an "I'm just a kid again" phase. The one where you attempt in vain to make yourself a part of the "cool table", tight roll your pants, and meekly opt to keep your true self buried while you try on all the hats from other's heads and wonder why they don't look right on you. Hold on to your seatbelts, it's a bumpy ride...I should know, I'm in the middle of it now.

Don't fret because, like the awkward teenage years eventually did, it'll pass. (I tell myself this anyway) And we will become surer writers in the end, ones that can read a published book without comparing it unfairly to our own rough draft. We will finally find our own voice, which had been there all the time but was shyly peeking out from behind Mother's skirt. We will embrace our weaknesses, learn from our mistakes and in the end, we will be strong enough to hug up the next generation of evolving writers, give them some Oxy, and remind them it will all be okay- we know because we were there.

This is the lecture I give myself from time to time. Of course, the times of insecurity are maniacally contrasted by periods of overconfidence when I declare I am the best at everything. But hey, I'm a teenager- I'll grow out of it.

The Winds of Optimism and the Sands of Self-Doubt: A Lesson Never Truly Learned

Once upon a time there was a person who enjoyed writing. One day, this person decided that she wanted to be a Writer, instead of just a writer. She set out with pen and paper and imagination. Where she would end up, she didn't know, but with the Winds of Optimism beneath her wings, she took flight.

Not long after setting forth upon this adventure, she wrote something of her very own. And then, she read it and she thought, "This is terrible." and the Winds ceased to blow. Without the Winds of Optimism to help keep her adrift, she landed in the Sands of Self-doubt, which are more like quick sand than fun sandbox-type sand and with every negative thought, she sunk a bit deeper.

Being stuck in the Sands of Self-doubt and no longer feeling she had the capacity to write anything worthwhile, she decided to read books by other Writers, ones that surely soared with the Winds of Optimism. But as she gazed over the polished words, she continued to sink farther and farther into the Sands of Self-doubt for never could she, a lackluster and incompetent writer, ever be capable of creating such fine works of art.

The sands rose higher upon her until her waist was buried. Then she got an idea. She would write in a new voice, one that was better than her own. Yet, for some reason, the Winds of Optimism did not swoop her into the air, but rather only helped to blow strands of hair from her face now and then.

Her first attempt didn't feel right. Her second was forced. Her third was better than the first, but didn't quite meet her expectations. The Sands began to take her once more and when she was up to her nose in the quickening pit, she read her original manuscript again.

And something magical began to happen. She realized it wasn't so bad after all. It wasn't perfect by any means, but there was something right about it. It was hers. And with that realization, the Winds of Optimism burst across the desert's surface like a tidal wave and wrenched our Writer out of the sand. Her wings spread open wide and the Winds thrust her into the air triumphantly and all was well...

But be warned: the Sands of Self-doubt are always down there, ready to bury us with our own undoing.