Thick Skin: Not Just for Pudding Anymore

One of my favorite motivational and real-world check artists, Kristin Lamb, just posted a great article titled "Enemies of the Art Part 10- Having a Thin Skin" as a reminder that we all must learn to accept feedback and criticism, and not just from the people that say what we want to hear.

Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This pearl of wisdom for is everyone, not just Writers. As a matter of fact, the moments when someone has offered us crudely dealt harsh words is invaluable, even when we prefer to disregard them.

We all love to be told how great we are, how our work is impressive, how wonderful we are at our trade, but when we are told everything is perfect, how do we learn where we need to improve? Where do we get the motivation to do better? When you're at the top of the mountain, how do you climb higher? The thing is, we aren't perfect, we do need to do better, and there's always room to aspire for a higher level. And that's what those awkward, maddening, hurtful moments are good for, if nothing else. To give us ammunition, motivation, and something to ponder when we're done pontificating about how wonderful we are.

True enough, we tell ourselves that these "Bubble Bursters" are filled with jealousy, misinformation, or lack of understanding, and sometimes they are. But sometimes they're on to something and I'd wager it's worth your effort to consider it every time. Even if it exploded in your face like some kind of gift wrapped bomb from Wile E. Coyote, there's something you can learn from it.

Source: www.cartoonnetwork.com

Personally, I can pin point several points in my life where those words ("You're being small minded," "This is just unreadable," "There's no hook. No action."), equivalent to gut punches, have made me thankful. Thankful that they got the wheels turning, got me thinking from a new angle. And after cursing under my breath, crying, and getting through the embarrassment, I have found, more than the nice ones, those words that stung caused more evolution, more development in my skills and mindset than I ever could have thought (however bitterly I had to admit it.)

Before you quit the reading group, the critique circle, the friendship, think about what you're told. Decide if it's pride, discomfort, denial, or our unavoidable subjectivity with which we see the world that makes us want to run to the nearest chocolate cake and dig with our hands.

It takes practice, but when you open your mind and step away from your ego, personal growth is sure to happen.

Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Please read "We Are Not Alone: The Writer's Guide to Social Media" by Kristin Lamb and "Are You There Blog? It's Me Writer", a fantastic combination to be inspired and to get your Author Marketing Platform off the ground ASAP!

80% of Us Want To Write a Book- So Why Aren't You?

Did you know that statistics show that 80-something% of people would like to write a book? That figure initially astounded me- why don't I know more authors? But truly, I can believe it. I am a part of that percentage myself, and as I have said before in a previous post, if the rest of humanity is into something, I probably will be too.

Maybe we've started writing but quit when the urge passed, when we got too busy, or when we realized we didn't know what in the world we were really doing trying to write a book. What was I thinking? I'm not a writer. But you are- if you write, then you're a writer. Taking it to the next level just takes a lot of perseverance and little education in the craft of storytelling.

Image courtesy of Simon Howden at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Usually, we just start with a seed. A tiny little thing that resembles nothing worth looking at. Don't throw it away, that tidbit can be the start of something wonderful. Collect them all you want, save them for a rainy day. That's when you start to find the story inside of you. Fiction, non-fiction, it makes no difference. These odd little threads of thought have burrowed out of our subconscious and made an appearance, fweeping like featherless baby birds we find in the middle of the grass. Where did you come from, Little Guy?

Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes, one of these strange fellows will appear out of no where and try as we might to ignore it, push it away, discredit it, the more it refuses to go leave. Suddenly, it sprouts feathers, and starts hopping around- What? Now you're trying to fly? We can always choose what story to write, but sometimes, the story actually chooses us. Those are the easiest to tell and are a great place to start if we've always been wanting to write, and if we have one of these twerps fluttering around in our mind, we should take the hint!

If you have a seed germinating in your mind for a story, write that puppy down! Take all the ideas you have, make a list. Ponder it, see which one nags at you. That idea that is like a toddler relentlessly tugging at your shirt tail is the one you should develop first. But don't just throw it to the wolves!  Ask questions about plot, about conflict, about characters. Get wild and crazy with it, and most importantly, stick to it! Bad writing can be made better, but you can't improve what you never write.

Need help with that- did I just make it sound easy? It's not. Trust me, I know this. But here are links to Kristin Lamb's Blog that will help with plot development and structure:

Structure Part 1- Anatomy of a Best Selling Novel...
Structure Part 2- Plot Problems...
Structure Part 3- Introducing the Opposition
Structure Part 4- Testing Your Idea- Is It Strong Enough...
Structure Part 5- Keeping Focused...

If you have advice for the 80% of the population that years for writing creativity, please share it. We need all the help we can get!

Excuses are like...

It's 4:10 AM, time to wake up. That's what my husband's alarm said this morning via the sound of shrill bells. Silly me, last night I thought it sounded like a good idea to get up and work on the book before the rest of the world joined me, and Ryan is good at making me follow through on my goals...too good.

Though I didn't get a lot of time to myself before a bad dream wrenched my 7 year old out of bed for the day (at 5:20 a.m!), I am choosing to be grateful that I made any progress at all. Look at the bright side, I could have just sat on Facebook or Twitter for my entire writing period, or even worse (or better?) I could have slept until 6 a.m. like usual.

Lately, I've found it difficult to make progress as I should. I haven't failed any goals, mostly because I haven't made any, but I have gone from writing every day to writing three times a week. I've gone from being willing to write anytime, anywhere, on anything, to demanding a computer. I've even gone so far as to require absolute silence and focus to write, something that as a mother of three, I'm rarely afforded...like never. So what happens? I didn't write for a couple of weeks. Then, when I began again, I only did so when I could take a break away from the house for a few hours- how realistic is that on a long-term basis...I'll tell you. It's NOT. This is part of a downward spiral of excuse making, and potentially something that would tear apart my ambitions. I'D BECOME A WRITING DIVA! Not in the awesome way, in the "nothing is good enough" way.

Then I was gifted a Kindle book called "Are You There Blog? It's Me Author" by my pal, Liz Shulte (who is a fantastic writer, check out her books on Amazon!), which I began reading right away since I need all the help I can get. Not 20% into the book, I got totally busted. The author gave three sample excuses for not writing and not taking ownership. Guess what? I got 2 out of 3, but unlike it was for Meatloaf, 2 out of 3 is really bad! Those two were 1) I'd write more if I had a better computer, and 2) I'd write more if I had more uninterrupted time. Oh, man. That hurt. I was totally pegged.

My computer, which has always been a bit of a lug anyway, died for the umpteenth time a couple of months ago. We've attempted to resurrect it countless times; it has more lives than our cat. But it flat lined again and I lost my will to keep trying, leaving us with only a teensy, tiny netbook left for all household computer needs. *gasp* I wanted to buy one, REALLY BAD, a nice new one, one that doesn't threaten to die on a daily basis making me backup my work every other minute, just in case. But, we're purchasing a home, so we are saving like crazy...not a good time for a major purchase. Frustrations mounting, I created excuse #1.

As you may already know from my profile, I have 3 young and very spirited children. They adorable, they're sweet, they're my pride and joy, and they're NOISY! They rampage around, playing with the dog, chasing the cat, eating everything, asking for drinks, wanting to draw, paint, make things out of clay, play guns, play video games, run outside, fight, cry, tattle, jump, hug, kiss, wrestle, talk, sing, scream...rarely do they sit still and never are they quiet. Quiet means trouble.

Though when the story hit me initially, nothing could derail my tenacity to make words appear on paper, but over time, when I had to work harder to make the story progress, get through writer's block, come up with problems, solutions, character development, etc...every giggle, every tap on my shoulder was a force strong enough to derail my train of thought, which had gone from being a Shinkansen (Japanese bullet train) to a rambling toy train half chewed by the dog. Why bother writing at home at all? I didn't. I wrote when I could leave and go to my favorite writing place...a certain coffee shop called the Inner Bean, which I could do only Tuesday and Thursday, because that's when they stayed open long enough for me to get there after my husband got home from work and I could escape. Wow, two days a week...regardless of the fact that I did get a lot more done during those times, my 2 year old would be in middle school before I could get this book published at that rate. Thus I beget excuse #2.

Forget the fact that we're moving (excuse #3). Forget the fact that movers are coming tomorrow. Forget that I need a new computer. Forget that I need work space and time. Life is messy and it will never be in a place that makes you slow down enough to take a breath, stretch out and say "Ahhhhh...now I can do this." If I wait for that, I'll always be a writer that doesn't write, an author that never publishes. It's the only way I can be a failure.

So, I've made some changes.
- I'm going to make myself goals. I can't reach goals if I don't make them.
- I'm going to create deadlines.
- I'm going to get up early or stay up late, whatever it takes to find the time to write for a little bit at least 6 days per week.
- I'm going to make a plan to get a new computer, but in the meantime, I will work with whatever resources I have available. I will use the netbook, I will find a library, I will get out my pen if I have to.
- I'm going to keep a positive outlook and not allow life's curve balls to take me out.

So, for all those writers out there that fall victim to the "I would write more if..." thoughts, for anyone who thinks that the perfect moment to reach your goals will present itself naturally, WAKE UP! If you don't take accountability for your future, if you don't grab your excuses by the gullet and squeeze the breath out of them, they'll keep you down forever.

Remember, excuses are like Today. You've got one. What you do with it is up to you.

Have a great day. NO EXCUSES!